Saturday, May 30, 2015

Our ways, pet peeves, and life

We know how to get stuff done.

We pack our alone time with activities that we like. We value solitude because it lets us experiment with new concepts, plan and stretch our imagination. Anything is possible when we spend time alone, and what we create may change our lives, and yours, too. And if we tell you that we know what we're doing, we do.  Dont try to change our minds to your preferance of how to do something.

We like to write things out.

We love email because it helps us get what we need without interruptions. Interruptions throw us off course, and we need to expend more energy to get back on track. So, please don’t call unless it is a close-ended question.

We make a choice to be with you–appreciate it.

We value our alone time and are picky about who we let in. Letting in the wrong person will drain us, leaving nothing for ourselves. We tend to attract extroverts who suck our energy, and search out likeminded introverts for our groundedness, deep thinking and sense of control. We appreciate our time with other introverts and have an understanding of each other’s limits and boundaries.

We're really okay.

I would like to get paid $100 for each time I’m asked, “Are you okay?” As an introvert, I’m caught up in my head much of the time. I’m thinking. Pondering. Contemplating. Sometimes I’m just enjoying the present moments as they come in meditative appreciation. I do not need constant noise or chit chat. So I’m often asked, “Are you okay?” because silence can be taken for being sad, angry or socially inept. I assure you though, that I am quite fine. Most of the time.

We actually like to socialize.

It’s true, but only in small groups where we pretty much know everyone or are there for the bigger picture. We like to have fun, laugh, converse about all sorts of things, and just feel the vibe of a good time with company, but when it’s a large group or people we don’t know, we feel uneasy and tend to be quiet. All the noise and carrying on actually starts sucking the energy right out of us. Sometimes some would get a headache attending functions with lots of people, but through the years, we can learn how to protect our energy, put a smile on, and chit chat with the best of them—for a little while anyway. At our first chance to exit the shebang, we're out.

At times, we have to force ourselves to act like we like you. We, basically, grin and bear it.

This is the nasty truth, but we're all moody and know who we like and dont like so I guess this one is universal. It can stem from many reasons that can have its roots in childhood to what we ate for breakfast this morning, but don’t take it personally.  Being nice can actually sometimes be harder than being real.

How can you let the introvert in your life know that you support them and respect them?

First, recognize that it's not a choice. It's not a lifestyle. It's an orientation.
Second, when you see an introvert lost in thought, don't say "What's the matter?" or "Are you all right?"
Third, don't say anything else, either.

There is nothing "wrong" or "weird" about being an introvert. Some people confuse introversion with shyness or anxiety, and some people will say that you need to "come out of your shell" or "be more social", like it's a bad thing. It isn't.

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